Things That are One Third of Your Life: Installment 2, The Bedroom
Finale of the two-part series no one asked for
Hello Pals,
It’s been busy over here. I turned in the manuscript for my book, Pretty/Weird (out next spring from Abrams) and I feel amazing. Like an author and an artist and an Adobe wizard all rolled into one, and now there is a hole in my schedule that I think I will fill with… fitness? Improved fingernail maintenance? Some new RAD Goods patterns? Heaven forbid I just kick back and like, don’t fill the void with a quest. Must have a quest at all times.
I also got excited, then disappointed, then excited again about a bunch of new work projects that may or may not happen depending on the aerosolized chaos in the air. Proud to report I didn’t freak during that stock market/tariff news cycle of last month but people, clients, colleagues, vendors seem worried. Inquiries are down and I get it - big, long, expensive projects don’t thrive in uncertainty and I hate it. I’ve decided to cope by donating to NPR but not listening to it, and treating myself to lots of self care including a Tarot Card reading whose absurdity made me feel like absurdity is evergreen and maybe things are not so bad right now. The deck was by Edward Gorey and likely not up to tarot-code, nor was the teen amateur who did the ceremony. She cackled as she diagnosed my future card as bringing “amnesia, an incident in a restaurant, shriveling”. Obviously I will blame our dipshit president for everything negative that comes to pass, but the lineup reads the room well I think.
With that pettiness out of the way let’s nest, shall we? Cozy up and discuss the comfiest room in the house in great detail? Some of my favorite posts by the excellent Laurel Pantin are about Fancy Mom, and indeed it was the issue on every single detail of Fancy Mom’s bedroom where I finally navigated the Substack paywall maze to find out about her sheets. Fancy Mom was right, those sheets are worth it and they are linked below. But first I will share some of my favorite bedrooms RAD has done, and then I’m just going to break it down for you fine people. Five splurges and a steal that won’t change how the room looks much, but when it’s time to read or scroll or do your crossword in bed you will think you died and went to heaven.
BEDROOMS
Sleep is magical, has your best friend with the Oura ring told you this already? It’s true. So much of our work is about making people feel seen and cared for, and no where is this more profound or actually caring than designing a private room specifically for rest and restoration. I have learned so much about what makes an excellent bedroom and I’m excited to share it.
Start with how you want it to feel when you walk in, which is, I’m imagining, peaceful and comfortable. You want it quiet, with the ability to control the light and the temperature. Did you know some colors make people feel energized and hungry? Burger King did the research on this and their selections are the opposite of what you should choose for your bedroom. No reds, no yellows, don’t do high-contrast, don’t make it smell like beef. ha.
You can choose a pattern, and don’t worry about getting tired of it - I can hear people saying to themselves “it’s 1/3 of your life!” but I point out: “your eyes are closed!” boop! We’re both right. My advice is to pick something pretty that your eyes love. Get sconces and table lamps. Open your heart to a color that might be darker than you would usually go for, and keep a bud vase filled on your nightstand.
Occidental
All anyone in Gen Alpha hears these days is “get out of your comfort zone” - I see my daughter curl up like a salted slug if anyone dares suggest this to her, similar to how I die inside if someone suggests I “just have fun with it”. But here we had to stretch: our client wanted dark and happy and masculine and feminine and brown but also pretty. Let’s go! Browns can be hard, and to stay safe I’ve always kept to paper-bag tones. Cardboard box truly goes with everything, but it wasn’t going to cut it here, it looked insipid and weak. We needed it stronger! Darker! Anel and I made it our beeswax to find a perfect tobacco/cocoa/leathery saddle brown and finally we found it - Marsh Brown from Benjamin Moore. Paired with Zac + Fox Incanto fabric it is just so cocoony and superb, a tremendous place to retreat at the end of the day.
In summation, here I am, daring to suggest that you, too consider colors you may not have thought were for you. Asking you to leave your comfort zone! Thanks for indulging me, I promise I’ll never ask you to have fun with it.
Stinson Beach
These sweetie pie beach house bedrooms check every box: two sources of light (sconce + table lamp), desk-as-nightstand (classic hotel move), and I love a plump pillow or two stacked instead of tilted, with the decorative pillow in front instead of a Euro behind. In real life the bottom pillow is often a special, specific, mushy number that does not photograph well. Your husband probably owns one he bought with a podcast discount code and he is committed to its excellence! I say fine, but only feathers for the camera.
The take-home on this one is to treat yourself and your guests right. Do not rely on overhead lighting alone, and err on the side of bedside tables that are larger rather than smaller.
Big Sky
What could be cozier than this fluffy four-poster when it’s wintry outside? Nothing! When placing an area rug in a bedroom I like for it to land in front of the nightstand, as shown. You want a little more real estate for your hooves at the foot of the bed, don’t waste it by aligning the bed and the rug. No need!
SIX THINGS: MY ACTUAL PICKS FOR A BLUE RIBBON BEDROOM
I’m both judge and champ in this metaphor, but I think I’ve earned it. I’ve proposed and purchased bedding for, I’m going to say… more than 200 beds in my career, and I’m not afraid to test a mattress. Twice a year I am seized by the curse of the rich white lady and throw a fit about microplastics and off-gassing. I score high on the HSP test which means if you are uncomfortable, I’ve been uncomfortable for an hour already. Side note: everyone in this office is an official HSP (highly sensitive person), it’s possibly the secret sauce of the firm.
Anywho, everything in this list is primo, soft, organic, the best. That said, I know this space is innovating and if there are other deeply comfy items that I missed please tell me. I’m interested.
These Legna sheets are so soft they almost feel like water. Like cool, dry, supple water. They are made in Italy from wood, and they are eye-wateringly expensive but they last forever. Magnificent on day one and apparently even better after 10 years.
European Sleep Works mattresses are made to order so you and your… lover… can have different toppers. They are made from all natural materials and simply gonzo. Sometimes I cackle when I get into bed because it’s that comfortable, and my friend who recommended this store sword that his mattress “cured hangovers”. I prefer a soft mushy experience but my husband does not and we settled on a firm base with a two-sided topper with lots of latex and wool and tufting and we are both delighted.
The Large Willow Lamp by Victoria Morris Pottery. A perfect lamp from one of my favorite ceramicists who sadly lost her studio in the Eaton Fire. It is the plutonic ideal of a lamp, simple and tactile with great brass hardware, worth getting on the mailing list to find out when she resumes operations.
This is major: Tala Bulbs in 2700K. I was the ornery Californian who was trying to have incandescent bulbs shipped to my parent’s house in Montana so I didn’t have to comply with environmental standards, but I’m here to report these are better than the best incandescent. The glass is thick and looks like porcelain, and having reached the point in my life when I never want to see a filament again I feel these are a present from Jah to me. And now to you!
And just when you thought I was an insufferable snob sent here to bankrupt you, I present the Flora Quilt from your friends at Magnolia. Cotton/linen, darling, happens to be on sale right at this minute.
The Bettersleep App. I thought I would quit after the trial period but no. Turns out I really love to be hypnotized by a Danish woman while the sound of a winter storm in Yellowstone rages in the background. It’s a golden age, I tell you.
Is this everything you need to make the bedroom of your dreams? Maybe. If not and you want help we’re here for you as always.
Toodles for now, thank you for reading and please consider sharing this free newsletter if you like it. Next month we will be discussing restaurants and if it matters whether or not they are beautiful. Stay tuned for my hot take…
Last Word: A nip of my omnivore’s book club where I never tag the author because I like to let ’er rip on all books great and sleazy. Almost 200 book reviews of all flavors saved in stories
My Name is Lucy Barton! Why this, why now? Because much of it takes place in a bed, that’s why. Also it’s excellent.
5/5 stars! All its missing is a subplot about monocrops but I know you will hit that note next time
Scattershot response... In Ohio, they laughed at me in junior high when I said my favorite color was tan. I did not appreciate the variations on "brown" until I drove through the Palouse, the rolling wheat country of eastern Washington. The combination of various strains of wheat plus the tall native grasses undulating in the breeze added a dozen shades to my sense of brown. /// No Tarot for me. I messed with the 'I Ching' only once and it turned out to be the jolt that began my cure. I threw the truth: Stagnation & Conflict. /// D.E.I. for a dipshit president: Drama, Exaggeration, Incoherence. /// And finally: TACO Don's is located at 8647 Bone Spurs Plaza, between The Money Laundry and The House of Lies, right down the street from the Theater of the Absurd.